A Les Forum

A Les Forum is proud to help one of our entreupenurs:

A Les Forum in conjunction with “My Designs” is looking for FASHION DESIGNERS and or DRESSMAKERS to help make and design clothes for a new clothing line.

There is a quiet yet hungry market out there waiting for a line such as this one.  There is great potential for this new apparel of becoming very successful.  Anyone interested, please conctact A Les Forum.

For most every lesbian who has come out of the closet, there is often a story behind it. The following is a narrative submitted by one of our readers.  With their permission, we have decided to publish it.

“MY COMING OUT STORY”

My adolescent journey has led me to a place of contentment and reconnection with myself. This voyage began when I was 10 years old to where I was drawn to the same sex. However, it was more of an admiration then merely an attraction. I would sit in front of the television flicking through channels and stopped whenever I noticed a beautiful woman on screen. I was mesmerized not by any random woman but by certain qualities of their beauty and elegance. In addition to these emotions of admiration, I knew something was not appropriate about my feelings. I would turn the channel immediately if my grandmother caught me in deep thought and I felt like I was doing something wrong. Therefore, in the process of finding myself, I’ve had to combat against these feelings of abnormality by exerting nonverbal expressions and by conforming to my grandmother’s norms.

In the process of finding myself, I began to discretely explore my sexuality by fantasizing about my best friend. I thought she was beautiful like one of the woman on TV. I had recurring dreams of kissing her and I felt myself enjoying it, wishing that my dream would come true. One day she came over to my house and we started pretending to be doctors. I suggested that I give her mouth -to – mouth because she was dying and needed oxygen. It was a moment of confusion and curiosity because kissing and touching her had felt so natural to me. Yet, I was terrified at the same time about my grandmother finding out.

I kept my thoughts about liking girls to myself because I didn’t want people especially my grandmother to think I was abnormal. I started high school and met new friends, but I never told anyone that I was drawn to the same sex. I was the only one in my class without a boyfriend and so I felt peer pressured to date boys.  Having a girlfriend was out of the question for me and I wasn’t ready to go outside of a heterosexual relationship. My girlfriends would tell me about different boys who had liked me and in order to distract my internal turmoil, I started dating a boy named “Tony.” It took me three weeks to feel mildly comfortable about peck kissing him and a month to actually tongue kiss. There was no comparison to how I felt when my best friend and I kissed.

Despite that I continued to be his girlfriend because he was nice, kind and very cute. In my last year of high school, I worked for my grandmother at her restaurant. After a while I noticed that a particular woman came in sometimes only to say ‘hi’ to me. She looked like a stereotypical lesbian and I was intrigued not by her but because she lived as a lesbian woman and didn’t care what other people said or thought about her. One day she invited me to her party and curiosity took reign as to her lifestyle. I went to the party and the experience opened my eyes to a world I never knew existed for individuals in the same frame of mind as I. The next day I woke up with a different attitude, went to the beauty salon and cut all of my hair. I didn’t care at the time what my grandmother had to say. She was against homosexuality, so I figured if I cut all of my hair and dressed differently I wouldn’t have to verbally express to her that I was gay.

My grandmother started noticing the difference in me and the “new friends” I was hanging with.  She would complain everyday to me about how people were talking about me being around homosexuals. She was so disappointed in me that she began questioning her parenting skills as if she was the reason why I felt so different. I felt ashamed for unintentionally hurting her, the woman I loved so much. But I also felt conflicted between being true to myself and satisfying the maternal needs of my grandmother. I resented the fact that I would have to conform and forego the importance of finding myself. So, I confronted my grandmother and told her that my friends may be different but who are we to judge. I thought she would understand being a religious woman but she resented the implication I made that she was not God.

However, I was still living at home and felt obligated to respect my grandmother’s wishes. I didn’t want her to suffer or go through any unnecessary issues on my behalf, so I decided to invert my emotions by living as a heterosexual woman no matter my sexual preference. My grandmother’s only wish for me was to get married and have children. Tony and I were still dating off and on during this time and though he wanted to go further in our relationship, I held back in order figure out what I wanted. After the altercation between my grandmother and I, I realized that I was not a little girl anymore and I would have to make grown up decisions. In order to make her happy I abandoned myself and accepted Tony’s proposal.

Though he and my grandmother were ecstatic, I wasn’t. During the course of my marriage I felt isolated and alone. I had to go through different phases in order to develop the ideals of independency such as individuality, confidence, and self-assurance. I realized and recognized that life is lived only once and I was living through the eyes of my family. Despite the fact that I respected my grandmother’s wishes I built up the courage to end my marriage and reconnect with myself. My grandmother moved to Puerto Rico towards the end of my marriage which made it easier for me to explore my sexuality. I didn’t have to worry about anyone seeing me with lesbians and then telling her about it. In spite of her ignorance towards homosexuality, she loved me and accepted me for who I became.

A year later, I came out the closet and began to live my life as a lesbian woman comfortable, happy, and connected with myself. At this moment, my grandmother knows that I am gay and currently in a relationship of which she loves my girlfriend and treats us as a “normal couple.” When I read the book Life Launch by Hudson and McLean (2006) I can truly relate to what it says: that an individual lives out the expectations others had for your life particularly those of your parents, siblings, teachers, peers, and childhood heroes (pg.91). I lived a portion of my early adult years based on the expectations of my grandmother and though it pleased her it didn’t complete me. Life is a learning experience and once fear is conquered and denial is surpassed, life is able to be fulfilled.

~Anonymous~

stimulus  - anything encouraging an action

Since it’s inception in May of 2009, STIMULUS has become not only Philadelphia’s largest and most diverse women’s party, but the most widely attended ‘soiree‘ in the the great Northeast.

Many of you may recall the lesbian parties of the 80′s and 90′s like Ladies of the 80′s and the unforgettable Tuesday nights at Gatsby’s. They were good parties for their time. But STIMULUS, is far more dimensional. “It’s not just a party, it’s a movement.”  

On a beautiful early spring afternoon, A Les Forum had the wonderful opportunity to sit with one of the founders to discuss the evolution of the idea. Twenty-eight year old founder Amber Hikes , who holds a Master’s in Social Work from UPenn, arrived impressively dressed, recalls how it all began.

“I was out in a Philly club one night in the Gayborhood and I was feeling out of place, when I noticed a professionally dressed woman who looked as if she didn’t belong. She returned the stare with the same puzzled look. What were we doing here?”

That other woman was Temple student and STIMULUS eventual co-founder 27 year old Morgan Levine.  Soon after their meeting, a friendship blossomed.

Agreeing on how out of place they felt, their conversation led to the mutual desire to plan a party!  They thought, let’s throw a party and create a space where professional diverse lesbians can feel comfortable.  Both were tired of the same ol’ places.

“There just wasn’t a space for women of color to go and feel like they are part of something. Amber continues, “We heard so many complaints from our friends about not having a nice place to go to, especially for women. So we did it to fill a void.”

Amber and Morgan decided that having a venue for diverse lesbian women was first and foremost on their agenda. In May of 2009, they held their first party, a fundraiser for The Philly Dyke March. STIMULUS was born. They used Facebook to get the word out and about 100 women attended their first party. By their second party, the number had doubled and by October of the same year, more than 600 women were attending their monthly parties. They became so successful so quickly, that they outgrew their space and had to find larger venues. STIMULUS was here, and here to stay.

If you haven’t attended a STIMULUS party you are truly missing a wonderful multicultural affair. Their parties are a tribute to the diversity of lesbian women with the range of music to boot. It’s a celebration of the many cultures and socio-economic backgrounds that embody lesbian women.  No longer just butch or femme, black or white; gone are the stereo-typical flannel shirt wearing lesbians. The parties are an assortment of lesbian potpourri; classy, stylish, grunged, lipstick, mannified, Asians, Blacks, Whites, Latinos, old, young, bisexual, transgendered, city folk, suburban folk, college student, professional.  A beautifully blended cultural medley, all under one roof.

The STIMULUS staff is made up of trusted close friends of the founders. Proceeds cover the various expenses for the events as well as providing a resource for contributions to charity and Community Services. The organization also participates in cleaning parks and providing clothes packets for children in need.

STIMULUS parties are held at various venues in the city of Philadelphia. They include but are not limited to The Marathon Grill, Landmark Americana, Voyuer, Shampoo, Finnegan’s Wake, Smokin Betty. 

STIMULUS parties are held every third Friday. AROUSE, an ever-changing sensory experience geared more to the more mature lesbian, takes place every 2nd Saturday.  Saturday April 14th, the next AROUSE event takes place at Finnegan’s Wake.

When asked what the future holds for STIMULUS, Amber replied, “Well I can’t do this forever, so I want to see new generations take over.”

“STIMULUS” celebrates their 3-year Anniversary hosting a 4 -hour open bar at Shampoo Nightclub Friday April 20th 2012.

 Check their website and Facebook for upcoming events.

~ A LES FORUM / N. W. Hunter, editing

Appreciation to all who attended the LAVENDAR MENACE Tea Dance.

Next Women’s Tea Dance in Delaware

 Sunday April 22, 2012

 Entertainment by Kelly Ricketts Trio and DJ Andi
21+
$5 cover
Event supports SisterSpace of the Delaware Valley
www.sisterspace.org

Remember the beloved tea dances of the 90′s?

SisterSpace is celebrating 35 years presenting

just that a Women’s Tea Dance here in PHILADELPHIA!

“The Lavendar Menace”

A Womens’ Tea Dance and SisterSpace Fundraiser

Saturday March 31, 2012

5-9pm

iCandy NightClub

254 South 12th Street, Philadelphia PA

SisterSpace alums DJ Cookie and DJ Kathy G will be spinning your favorite tunes, from latin to 70s to dance.

sliding scale donation $5-$10

for more information:

www.sisterspace.org

Jersey’s Governor will veto Gay Marriage Bill and says that the people should vote on whether or not gays should be allowed to wed.

Marriage is not a ‘gay right’ it’s a  HUMAN RIGHT.

“If  human rights were to be voted on by the people, I would still be sitting at the back of the bus.”  

                                                                             ~ Al Sharpton on the Bill Maher Show

WHITNEY HOUSTON

“Undoubtedly one of the greatest superstars of all time.”

“One of the greatest voices in our lifetime we are likely to hear.”

~ Simon Cal

“The best singer I have ever heard in my life.”

~ Tony Bennet

The very soulful Whitney Houston at only 48 years of age, was found dead in her Beverly Hilton Hotel room on Saturday February 11th 2012.

It will take weeks for the toxicology tests to confirm the cause of death. It is speculated that the singer did not die from drowning, but rather from what appears to be a combination of Xanax and other prescription drugs mixed with alcohol … this according to family sources. Paraphernalia of any other type of drug was not found in the hotel room.

A Les Forum along with everyone from the most famous to the most ordinary, are shocked over the tragic news. “It’s like knowing where you were when you heard of the passing of Michael Jackson. You’ll remember where you were when you learned of the Queen of Pop Whitney Houston’s death.”

Growing up in the 80′s Whitney was it!  Her chart topping hits were on every radio station in the country. Her voice beautiful, ardent, polished, and magical. It was like no other we’ve ever heard before. Tall and slender, Whitney was breathtakingly beautiful as well. An unwithered fresh beam of light when she first burst on the scene.

Whitney was a teen from Newark New Jersey. She was only 19 when legendary producer Clive Davis first discovered her in her gospel-singer mother’s cabaret act. “The time that I first saw her singing in a club called Sweet Waters right here in Manhattan … it was such a stunning impact,” “To hear this young girl breathe such fire into this song, I mean, it really sent the proverbial tingles up my spine.” Davis quickly signed Houston to Arista Records. She was introduced to the world on “The Merv Griffin Show” in 1985. Her raw performance and the genuine reaction of both Griffin and Davis afterwards was priceless.  Two years later she released her self-titled debut album “Whitney Houston.”  Her first single “You Give Good Love” went to number immediately. Soon to follow were a string of seven number one hits, breaking a record previously set by the Beatles. “Saving All My Love, How Will I Know, The Greatest Love of All, Where Do Broken Hearts Go, I Wanna Dance With Somebody, Didn’t We Almost Have It All, So Emotional.” With those hits, Houston holds the title for the most consecutive number one songs by a female artists in the 1980′s shared only with Madonna.

One of my favorite Whitney Houston memories was watching the 1991 Superbowl in which Whitney belted out the most sensational rendition of “The Star Spangled Banner” I have ever witnessed. What was so impressive about it was that as she sang it, we knew we were seeing something special. That recording of “The Star Spangled Banner” reached number twenty on the Hot 100 Singles chart in March 1991. She was the only act to turn the national anthem into a pop hit. The single was re-released in September 2001 and peaked at number six on the chart, becoming the first and the only version of the national anthem to achieve that feat in music history. Unbelievable!

Her biggest seller was the 1992 movie soundtrack “The Bodyguard” in which she acted alongside Kevin Costner. Her rendition of Dolly Parton’s song “I Will Always Love You,” topped the Hot 100 for fourteen consecutive weeks from November 28, 1992 to February 27, 1993, making it the longest-running number one single ever by a female solo artist and from a soundtrack album. Other hits “I’m Every Woman, I Have Nothing, Exhale Shoop Shoop, I’m Your Baby Tonight,” soon followed. And who can forget one of my favorites the unforgettable hot dance club single in 1999, “It’s Not Right, But It’s Okay” which won her a Grammy in 2000 for Best Female R&B Single. 

Whitney Houston’s career was huge in film and song with eight platinum albums and 55 million records sold. But her success and reputation seem to soon fall when she married Bobby Brown.  With Bobby, it appeared that she began to descend into a disfuntional relationship filled with jealousy, rage and substance abuse.  She endured multiple stints in rehab and finally after 15 years of marriage divorced Brown in 2007.  I’m sorry folks, but not soon enough for me. Though we are responsible for our own actions, I feel that Bobby Brown impacted Whitney’s withered thin appearance, and was the butcher of her extraordinary majestic voice. (sorry bobby brown fans!)

In 2009 Whitney Houston returned after seven years of silence with the album, “I Look to You.“  It seemed that Whitney was well on her way back. She was scheduled to appear at the recent pre- Grammy’s party. Sadly after the developments learned of this weekend, that was not to be the case.

It is sad to know that we will never see nor hear another new Whitney Houston song again.  You were the greatest Whitney! God bless your daughter, family, friends, and everyone you have influenced, enriched, and inspired with your gift.

 You are truly the one and only… “THE VOICE.”

Rest in Peace.

WHITNEY HOUSTON

1963-2012

~A Les Forum

ELEMENTS ORGANIZATION

ELEMENTS is here!!!   An organization created to empower womyn of color by increasing visibility and creating a system of support and resources for LGBTQ womyn to connect. ELEMENTS is dedicated to promote holistic healing, and address key issues within our communities that will move us towards a more just society.  

A Les Forum is proud to support and work in conjunction with ELEMENTS!  Do not miss their upcoming fundraiser!

Join ELEMENTS ORGANIZATION for their

Winter Hot Chocolate Erotic Showcase & Fundraiser

Sunday February 19th, 2012  7-2am

An event not to be missed!

For more info Winter HOT Chocolate

Alright party people!… Tired of the same ol’ scene? Same ol’ clubs and bars! Same ol’ boring people? Well, look no further. The next time you head into D.C., take your dinner and dancing down Connecticut Avenue right to “Cafe Citron.”

Cafe Citron, located in the heart of DC half a block south of Dupont Circle, is a dining, drinking, and dancing experience like no other. It is the kind of place that will have you shaking, jirating, twirking, dancing and jumping to your favorite latin music literally till you drop!  The atmosphere created by the animated DJ and whistle-blowing bartender, give you the party feel of a departing cuise ship on its way to an adult Cancun springbreak. Leave your inhibitions at home as you swing to merengue, salsa, vallenato, cumbia, club, carribean, Arabic, and Brasilian music. Congas and bongos sparingly located throughout the cafe to give patrons an impression of true latin percussion.   

The food is just as symmetrically exciting offering appetizers and entres till about 11pm. On the menu you’ll find a delicious blend of Carribean and Latino cuisine. Starter favorites Venezuelean Empanadas, Calamares a la Plancha, and the Coconut Shrimp are sure to satisfy. Entres include Grilled Talapia, Puerco Guisado, and Tacos al Carbon. The Citron Ceviche was out of this world!  It was delicious!! Be sure to get there early before 9pm for dinner, because the transformation from dinner to the party is quick and waits for no one.   

Because Cafe Citron is the place to be on a Saturday night, it doesn’t take long for it to get crowded. From the lively second floor loft to the spicy basement, any floor at Cafe Citron is guaranteed to stimulate your senses.  Leave your tuxedo and prom dress at home for you’ll be sure to sweat it off!! This place will get your libido to first base.

“Cafe Citron” an A Les Forum recommened visit when in the Washington DC area!

“Party people, party people. Can y’all get funky? Soul Sonic Force, can y’ll get funky? The Zulu Nation, can y’ll get funky?
Ya…… Just hit me!     “Planet Rock”

Follow personal reviews of Cafe Citron at Yelp.

 Opinions expressed are that of A Les Forum

Make-up diva FLAMINIA GARIONI has been providing makeup services and brow shaping for 15 years. Her experience has made her name synonymous with DC’s finest in the industry.

Born in Ethiopia and raised in Turin Italy, Flaminia was exposed to make up at a very young age by her mother. In 1984 the family moved to Alexandria, Virginia which prompted the opening of her mother’s salon in Old Town. The exposure and inspiration by her mother Yubi, a well known and respected stylist, inspired Flaminia’s love and passion for the makeup industry. She got to be so talented, that she began freelancing blending trendy and traditional styles to fit every woman. Clients rave about the professional and personal attention she gives to detail.

Flaminia has recently opened her studio FYUBI at the Last Tangle Salon in Washington DC. She has an extensive reputation and has represented make up lines such as MAC, Bobbi Brown, Laura Mercier,and NARS. She has worked with and for celebrities, photographers, bridal parties, photo shoots, fashion shows, and with image consultants on a regular basis. “Most of my clientelle is based on word of mouth and media exposure. I enjoy the personal time I have with clients. It allows me to treat every one’s beauty needs individually.”  Her specialty is to shape eyebrows based on your eyes, and the natural bone structure of the face. She also will work with you offering the best tips and recommendations to make you look your best.  She’s available for both in studio time and also at your location.

Flaminia works with all varieties of clients and offers services to drags and LGBT clients respectively.

* Daily Candy is running a special VALENTINES DAY deal with FLAMINIA GARIONI thru February 15th. To take advantage of these awesome deals click here for details.

“Daily Candy,” the nations web insider’s guide to what’s fashionable and fun in cities throughout the country named her Daily Candy’s Sweetest Thing in 2008.  Her revues in bridal makeup and makeup lessons are bar none.  Flaminia Garioni is a genuine and reputable professional make up specialist that will leave you looking amazing.

  Check out FYUBI Make Up and Brow Studios reviews on YELP.

For more information on Flaminia’s services please visit FYUBI

or flaminia@fyubi.com

You may also call her directly 202 812 3580

 ”Darling…. you look simply marvelous!”

~ A Les Forum